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Everything that happens once can never happen again. But everything that happens twice will surely happen a third time. Paulo Coelho, The Alchemist (via kushandwizdom)


don’t ever talk to someone while you’re horny it is a bad idea and you’ll regret it


Not the time for a dad joke.


thanks to all my mutuals who liked my selfie but didn’t reblog it! I didn’t realize the F in Friday stood for fake!




I wonder if Jesus’s friends ever called him “Jeez” or “Young Jeezy” or “J Naz.” Naz is short for Nazareth. J Nazty. Spread the word.

his friends or companions never called him jesus. Jesus was Jewish and in the hebrew language there is no “j”. just sayin’.

I guess you’re right. They probably didn’t call him J Nazty then. I’ll let everyone know.

  • WiFi: connected
  • Me: then fucking act like it

Last Words
Ted Bundy - “I’d like you to give my love to my family and friends.”
Aileen Wuornos - “I’d just like to say I’m sailing with the rock, and I’ll be back like Independence Day, with Jesus June 6. Like the movie, big mother ship and all, I’ll be back.”
John Wayne Gacy -“Kiss my ass.”
Carl Panzram - “Hurry up, you Hoosier bastard, I could kill ten men while you’re fooling around!”
Jeffrey Dahmer - “I don’t care if I live or die. Go ahead and kill me.”
Peter Kurten - “Tell me, after my head has been chopped off, will I still be able to hear, at least for a moment, the sound of my own blood gushing from the stump of my neck? That would be a pleasure to end all pleasures.” 
James French - “Hey fellas! How about this for a headline for tomorrow’s paper? ‘French fries’!”
 Sean Flannagan - “I love you.” (spoken to the executioner)
Robert Drew - “Remember, the death penalty is murder.”
Tom Ketchum -  “I’ll be in hell before you start breakfast, boys. Let her rip!”
Stop blaming yourself for other peoples shitty doings to you.
They fucked up. Not you.
(via laceypanty)